Dave Gee: Life from Right Field

It's officially Mother's Day today in Kiwiland. Mom always gets the short end of the straw, as her birthday is always within a few days of Mother's Day. We went out for a family dinner last night, and then we had a suprise birthday party organised for her "significant" birthday.

Mom's sister and longtime school friend came down from Christchurch for the weekend, and they're taking her back next week to get away from Mr Goosey for a few weeks.

In honour of Mother's Day, here's an amusing email list of "Evening Classes" that Tara (Lake Greeley Camp) sent me a while back. (Warning: Some blokes may find it offensive ;-)...

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN...

* HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS - Step by step guide with slide presentation

* TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? - Roundtable discussion

* DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR - Practicing with hamper

* DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? - Debate among a panel of experts

* LOSS OF VIRILITY - Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

* LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS - Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

* EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN? - Group discussion and role play

* HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH - PowerPoint presentation

* REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST - Real life testimonial from the one man who did

* IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? - Driving simulation

* LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER - Online class and role playing

* HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION - Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

* REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE - Bring your calendar or PDA to class

* GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME - Individual counselors available